The father’s mistreatment could come as a bolt from the blue.
Now, says Malou von Sivers for the first time on terror while growing up.
– when I was little, I thought that all the children were beaten if they stepped on the carpet fringes, she says in the “Summer” in P1.
her childhood was marked by family dark tragedy.
the TV4 profile Malou von Sivers , 63, “Summer” in P1 she tells for the first time about his father’s reign of terror during her childhood, bordered by physical and mental abuse with constant tantrums that went out over the children.
– Why did you close us into the store so that the mother could not hear what was going on, just because we had not put the shoes next to each other or hang up jackets properly. When I was little, I thought that all the children were beaten if they stepped on the carpet fringes, happened to make footprints in the nykrattade gravel or happened to drop a fork, she says in the program.
“The hands came rushing”
on the surface, they were a model family, but inside the four walls ruled the fear of the hot daddy would turn violent.
– Your hands came flying as a weapon through the air without warning. Hands luggade me just at that place at the temples where the skin is thinnest, and therefore gave a burning pain, hands that gave scars, not only on the body but also the soul but also enveloping my four-year hand when we went for a walk, she says .
She developed strategies to never let fear take over life, to sneak through the window out to their friends at night.
the father was accused of the death
last years did the father does not have any contact, even TV4 profile repeated attempts. He would never talk about his innermost, instead have Malou von Sivers pieced together his past through other relatives and are careful to balance the picture of him. When the father was born, his mother died in childbirth. Malou von Sivers grandfather turned their sorrow to the son, a boy who was never accepted by the family after the death and shifted to exclusion.
– It is a deep wound that I have inherited and followed me through life but same vulnerability has shaped me into who I am for better or worse.
after several years, she met him for the last time in hospital after he had surgery for cancer and lay on his deathbed. READ ALSO After the anger against TV4 now respond Malou
“no one knew what was going on?”
Through her story, she wants to give all the courage to intervene if they suspect that a child in their vicinity mistreated. After the program has been hailed her frankness in social media.
– My hope is that more people dare to intervene in the most private in closed families when we suspect there is something that is not right. All around us there was a large extended family, friends and neighbors, but I never remember anyone ever intervened, no one knew what was going on ?, says Malou von Sivers.
“Will go along with the beaches”
Malou von Sivers is on vacation in Greece and have listened to the program. Now she feels relieved.
– There is such tension, this program has become so large with so many listeners and many are talking about. I will walk yourself now along with the beaches and think.
She has already been showered reactions.
– I hear the rustle of the phone now so I’ll read through all the comments, saying she said.
What was it like to listen to it?
– it’s always special when you listen to it from the outside but it felt good. I got what I wanted to say that a process of reconciliation that I wanted to describe.
“It was very strong”
During the work facing the program, her producer and friend Helena Groll has been an important sounding board.
– I have sat and typed on this for several weeks, then go through the emotions and processing, it was very strong. It has been incredibly valuable to juggle with Helena about how to say these things right, she says.
When I was recording it, I went more into my profersionella role. I was almost more interested now than when I played in, she says.
She holds regular lectures, she will talk about their previously unknown experiences there as well.
– It is thrilling you can see a wound as a strength, many have not thought of it that way. It often has more support than you think if you dare to open up and tell you.
“Summer in P1″ is to listen to this. READ ALSO A strong story about secrets, shame and love